In For the Long Haul

Ever now and then I spend some time thinking about the various influences on my experience with God; how it all started, who helped, who hindered, what this or that meant or means. I don't stay there long but an occasional visit helps me sort of put things together. Clearly I have been shaped by the brothers (John and Charles) Wesley, the American frontier circuit rider, and the monastic tradition. There is more to it than that, of course, such as the tremendous influence Ruth has had on my thinking about God. I also read a great deal and take a certain delight in probing issues and ideas that are clearly beyond my capacity to understand. I like to discuss the undiscussable (if there is such a word).

One thing I have learned, and that has served me well, is what Kathleen Norris mentions in her book Dakota: A Spiritual Geography. Writing about what modern Americans really want, she thinks most of us want a community of some kind. We want to belong, to have roots. We really want a tradition, one we have not been able to find lately in traditional western religion; certainly not in current western secular communities, driven as they are by consumerism and a desire for upward mobility. She thinks the "tradition," so-called, "of middle class America" is "a belief in individual accomplishment so strong that it favors exploitation over stewardship, mobility over stability." (p. 129) Naturally this kind of tradition will not do since it is always on the move, redefining who we are and what we want, creating false needs and providing false answers for those needs. Hence the modern commercial!

To make matters worse we overlay the Church with consumer-driven values and consequently, Norris says, "we pay a high price for applying upward mobility to the life of the spirit." We want to speed up, deepen instantly, and enhance immediately what can only happen over time. We are in a spiritual hurry. We are sweating like crazy trying to build spiritual muscle. Perhaps if we added vitamins or took steroids we could see results faster. There is no question in my mind that Norris is absolutely on target. When the psalmist says he wants to run the way of the commandments we think he means intensity of effort rather than intensity of desire (119:32). And we are quite good at effort, giving 110%. We are candidates for burnout.

The monks have taught me to slow down. Be a tortoise in a spiritual hare atmosphere. At the very least attempt to balance spirituality, put some silence and waiting in the general mix. We huff and puff winning the world, forgetting that it is not we who win the world but the Spirit of God, who has been at it for a very long time. Concern for others and concern for oneself is paramount in Christian life and mission, yet our motors do not run on gasoline or batteries but on inspiration, on depth of the sense of self, of others, of God. Monastic spirituality has helped me see that God has everything under control, regardless of what I think about it. Perhaps this is why Psalm 27:8 has become so important to me: "Come," my heart says, "seek his face!" Your face, LORD, do I seek."

Seeking ... and finding ... are life-long commitments. We are in God for the long haul.

Jerry Mercer